"From an early age it become obvious I had no mental or emotional support, around what I was dealing with, around what I later learned was a disability. I often felt on my own and the road ahead felt daunting and difficult.
Where others weren't listening, I had to listen to myself. I was locked in my own little world. I always had my thoughts, having others around didn’t seem to matter. It's hard enough being ignored and as a result more exposed, even harder when the environment you're born into and the issues you have, are a continual battle ground.
But for any child their home is important. It's the place they call home even without the support. It is massively important they are nurtured, supported and protected."
I am not sure my generation got much emotional support from parents. In your case, with a disability you didn't know you had that needed addressing, you very much needed it and it was wrong that your needs were ignored.
I felt on my own too but to me that was normal. I had siblings who were very different to me and I often joked with my mum that I must have been swapped at birth.
When I look back at my childhood I can't remember being cuddled or told I was loved and that fuelled my independence. My parents failed in that department for sure.
I would like to think I have changed it for my children but I guess you'd have to ask them.
Thanks. Yes, you've made a fair point, but I don't see that as an excuse. In a way it's a cop out. Parent and you have been parented, parent without thinking about what you need to change and you repeat history.
Having changed things for my children, and I could have parented in exactly the same way, I consciously chose to do things differently so that their lives could be better.
There is no excuse for any parent including your own, not attending to their child's needs. I know my mum found it difficult to tell us how she felt, but my father always told us he loved us.
In your case, you were lucky that you were self-sufficient and capable. Being capable means you were able to carve out a life for yourself.
I know in my case it would have been nice if my parents would have at least acknowledged that I existed other than when they wanted something from me.
I clearly remember being alone when I was very young and they were divorced, so I had to learn how to entertain myself along with taking care of myself.
By the time they remarried, my mother had brainwashed me into thinking that I had to support and take care of her emotional needs which no child should ever have to do.
My father mostly spent his time trying to interrogate me about what my mother, which put me in a horrible position that I really didn't enjoy being in!
Yes, normally parents are the ones supporting their children. I definitely know what it's like to be thrown to the wolves and to figure everything out.
Luckily I was a smart kid and caught on quickly, otherwise I would have ended up as one of those faces on a milk carton considering the kind of places and people we ended up being forced to deal with.
I can't comprehend how it is that any kind of parent could or would knowingly allow their children to suffer through anything like this.
People get highly offended when I speak ill of my parents but they weren't the ones who had to go through the hell we did.
Thanks Randy. Yes, we can spend a lifetime trying to work life out, but unless you know for sure, you'll come up with a hundred different answers or interpretations on the facts.
If the mind plays tricks, you might even take pity on your parents thinking that you got it wrong, then when you rethink realise you were right.
All you can do now is acknowledge your childhood and experiences and choose a different life so that you don't get to repeat the same patterns for yourself.