When I feel I’m more in control, my mind tells me something different. The feelings I have are normal pre-operative feelings; but the more I try and think of other things, my mind goes back to what I’m putting myself through today.

It’s amazing how the mind and body work. The adrenalin rush seems almost impossible to stop. I’m not sure whether I’m happy to be getting rid of what I have known for 8 years, or the apprehension at the prospect of going under the knife to do it, maybe both.

I know it’s not an option to hold on to the lesions, so I need to run with this. I tend not to let things get in the way of what I need to do. When we’re ill or we go through trauma we're always on our own. Blogging here today has given me another take on my situation. Half an hour of going under the knife has to be better than living with what I have now.

I know when my mother was alive, she was constantly worrying about moles. Given that none of us have any certainty on our health, it’s better that they go. I’m ready to pave the way by taking doses of Arnica to help with the healing process.

It’s time for me to pro-active and get with it.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “My thoughts on today”

  1. Being pro-active is the best way to go. I'm so glad that you are. I'm also glad things went well for you today.

    Now you just have to heal and I know that can be difficult for you, according to your last post. I wish you the best and hope you heal well.

    You're in my thoughts.

    1. I've started well, although I know it will take many weeks for me to heal properly. That doesn't concern me though. I'm fine about it. I have all my alternative therapy treatments to help me.

  2. You will be the same as me. I came through my operation with flying colours.

    Just one minor bump, but you will be just fine. You are strong. Remember that. That will get you through.

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