Whether we think, or even realise, we are selective about a lot of things. We’re selective about what we eat, how we spend our time, how we spend our money. We’re even selective about our deeds.

Selective Deeds

Perhaps we should consciously start to ask ourselves why we’re selective about those things. Selective deeds should be purpose-based, we should strive to prioritise good deeds.

We Should be Helping Others

We should help others so that we leave a positive impact when we're gone. Doing good deeds shows empathy, compassion, and integrity.

Helping others always makes a difference. The saying "it's better to give than to receive" is true. Research from the U.S. shows that giving to charity or helping others makes us feel happier than spending money on ourselves. This means helping others also benefits our mental and physical health. (Source: positivepsychologyprogram.com)

Helping others Promotes Physiological Changes

When we help others, we are promoting physiological changes in the brain that are associated with happiness. Long-term, these feelings are followed by longer periods of calm that lead to better health and wellbeing.

Helping others distracts us from our own issues, encourages us to lead a more active life, and improves self-esteem and confidence, which in turn, improves confidence. It also helps us to engage in meaningful activities.

Good Deeds

Good deeds have a positive impact on how we think, which gives us a more positive outlook on our experiences. Helping those who are less fortunate, makes us realise just how lucky we really are and can stop us from focusing on ourselves. Good deeds promote positive emotions and help us to reduce stress. Reducing stress boosts immunity, protecting us from disease.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Our Selective Deeds”

  1. They like to say that nice guys finish last and I agree with them. My problem has always been being too nice forced into being a people pleaser as a kid, being brainwashed into thinking it was normal.

    Therefore I have such a bad habit of picking people to help who always seem to take advantage. It's why I have been trapped in a toxic and abusive relationship for so many years, not knowing quite how to get out.

    I don't mind helping people out, but in doing so I forget to help myself and I'm the one who always ends up suffering. I have to work on finding the balance between taking care of myself and helping others, so that I am able to help others too.

    1. Thanks Randy. Yes, I can resonate with everything you say here. I also ended up being a people pleaser on the back of a disability I didn't know I had, looking for acceptance.

      But with work on ourselves Randy, I believe we can put good deeds out to as many people as we can. Not enough of us do, through our cultures and society we're taught to look after No 1.

      Through our own experiences starting with ourselves, we can heal and then help others.

  2. I think the relevance of a man rest on his efforts to do good, to be compassionate and reasonable. And to know that he will be held accountable for his actions.

    We are being tested by the universe.

    1. Thanks Tim. Yes I agree. I believe we must be 'good, compassionate and reasonable.'

      Our lives revolve around the universe. I also believe we are being tested that when we put out good we get good back in the same way if we do bad things, bad things will come back.

      But there is no time scale on when things will come back.

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