Initially, we create and put up barriers to protect ourselves, but that can only work for a finite time, sooner or later we must take control. I've had to overcome barriers on my childhood: the neglect and emotional distress on a disability I didn't know I had, has been my biggest struggle.

Overcoming barriers

I’ve had to overcome barriers on my disability, barriers on how others see and behave towards me. I’ve had to overcome barriers on being judged for failing in school. The more I failed the more I carried the guilt, because those responsible for my education failed to acknowledge their responsibilities.

Emotional blocks hold us back

Where our subconscious thoughts and feelings hold us back without us being aware and those need addressing, I have had to overcome those also. Without us understanding our thoughts or how we can release those thoughts, the emotional blocks will stop us from getting on with life.

We all have hurdles to overcome

Although we all have different things we deal with, the fact is we all have hurdles to overcome. Through reflection, we can attain a greater understanding and awareness of our emotions and beliefs. We should be prepared to peel back the layers on our experiences.

Improve your 'mental health'

It is important that through the process we work on improving our mental health. The idea is that we give ourselves the requisite tools and awareness to live a happier life. The biggest barrier we have to overcome is what other people think of us and that is not always a positive experience.

We don't have to convince others

We don’t have to convince others to agree with us or like us. What’s important is what we think of ourselves. Instead of taking things personally, use what’s said to improve your thought process. Care for those who care about you and care less about those who say they care, but their actions and silence tell you otherwise.

Also, instead of holding on to criticism, choose to look past the criticism so that what registers is constructive feedback.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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4 comments on “Overcoming Barriers”

  1. There are so many barriers that I've built in my life to protect myself, that I don't really know which one to work on first right now.

    I imagine it has to be the one that prevents me from overcoming my fears of upsetting my partner, and living my own life.

    I was well trained in the art of people pleasing and being brainwashed to think things were normal, when it turned out it was anything but normal.

    Living my own life seemed to be one of the most evil things I could do, but from what I know, many people do it and don't feel guilty about it at all.

    So many of these barriers have kept me a prisoner in my own nightmare. I want to be able to enjoy living for a change, in what time I have left to enjoy.

    1. Thanks Randy. People don't feel guilty about living their lives because it's what you're supposed to do. And you can too Randy, but you've got to do what you must do.

      I think when we make a decision on this level you must take away how you think your partner will feel and perhaps that's a barrier you must overcome.

      But your journey is for you. Better that than living a life you don't want to live, then finding out you've left it all a little bit too late.

      I've seen that happen a few times.

  2. We all have our barriers to overcome, some more difficult than others; but we can start to change how we think and slowly chip away at the barriers others make for us, and we make for ourselves.

    1. Thanks. Yes, it's much harder to chip away at barriers others make for us, than it is to break down our own barriers, particularly if those people are still in our lives.

      If we set up our own barriers, we surely must be able to find ways to break those barriers down. But we can never live our lives successfully without breaking them down.

      Although both are affected, we must continue to break down barriers around disability and mental health, but particularly around mental health.

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