A few weeks ago I was in a position where I felt I needed to say something to someone, but felt irritated when it didn’t quite work out. Is it wrong for us to speak out if we’re genuinely not happy with a situation and we want things to change?

It's not wrong, but it can make life slightly more difficult, if the person you want to speak to is family. We’re entitled to say something, as long as we do it with good grace and it comes from the heart. Unfortunately though, there is a fine line between criticism and constructive criticism, but it’s not easy dealing with either.

It’s hard to get a balance so that no offence is taken. We may need to fine tune how and what we say. If offence is taken, it’s not necessarily because it's something we said; it's often because the other person's pride has taken a knock.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Speaking out”

  1. Yes, speaking out has it's pro's and con's. We have to be graceful about how we go about it. People are so sensitive. Just one wrong word and it's an all out brawl.

    The person gets offended and it's a war of words and hurt feelings, that's why I don't speak out as much as I should. I should speak to my mom but if I do she will get upset and tell her sister and then the whole family will get involved and it will be a mess.

    Things are taken out of context so easily. But like the post from yesterday, you can voice your concerns or not and both ways will have consequences most of the time.

    1. Thanks Lisa. There are consequences to everything we do in life, that is LIFE but as long as we speak with good grace, I still think we should speak out regardless of the consequences.

      If you have something to say you shouldn't be afraid to say it, particularly if you feel you've been compromised in some way. We cannot not speak out because we're afraid to live with the consequences of what we say. We have to be true to ourselves. We have to speak our own truth.

      I also believe that if we don't say anything to put our side of the story out there, people will still continue to take advantage and that includes family too. Sometimes they are the biggest culprits.

  2. Unless we speak out people will not know the way we feel. Once we have spoken, it can clarify our position so people know where we stand. Then it is much easier to have a meaningful conversation.

    If we stand back and say nothing, nothing will be resolved.

  3. Speaking out isn't always the easy option but I am a firm believer in good things coming out of difficult situations, even though it might be hard to believe that at the time.

    I would hope that by speaking the truth from the heart, that in the end good would come from that.

    1. Nine times out of ten I believe it does. It's very sad when someone chooses to ignore that fact, particularly if what's said is also done with sincerity.

      If the relationship is meant to continue it will.

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