Have you ever had what seems like a normal conversation with someone, but whatever is happening in their life at that time, begins to impact the conversation and suddenly their issues become our issues and responsibility?
We’re not always sure what we’ve said to bring about the confrontation, but we find ourselves having to remember the conversation, just so that we eliminate any wrongdoing on our part. Sadly, there will always be people who find fault if they’re that way inclined.
The issues that unconsciously reside in all of us, will often become the vessel that feeds our need to point out other people’s faults. Pointing out others' faults always gives us instant gratification and makes us feel better about what we deal with, but from my own experience it is often short lived. We often feel worse after those events.
If this is something you do, the next time you choose to nit-pick or find fault and say something that will drive a wedge between you and the other person, take a moment to stand back so you can work out how to handle the conversation more appropriately.
Having had many an experience with this, the stress isn’t worth what we put ourselves through, never mind the other person.
It takes a conscious effort to ensure confrontational conversations or arguments 'stay on track' and only relevant matters aired; not old grievances.
I agree with you. Standing back and taking a breath help focus and hopefully contribute to an amicable resolution rather than a nasty argument that has spiralled; things said that perhaps were best left unsaid, are much harder to fix.
Thanks, yes it does take a conscious effort to change the way we tackle conversations that are very easy to turn into arguments.
That said, those of us with a conscious will walk away away and feel bad on how the conversations's gone, but those of us who are more self-righteous will probably think they're right and they've nothing to apologise for.
In any event, I'm not sure how many of us really do stand back and take stock. Most of the time we may stand defiant. I do agree with you though, things said in anger are much harder to fix.