I have written journals on Cerebral Palsy many times, but there is always more to write and although my feelings equate to the same thoughts, they still need to be expressed. I’m sorry if I seem to be repeating myself.

Today feels like a struggle. I struggle when those in my life, don’t understand what Cerebral Palsy means, I struggle because they don’t equate what I go through and struggle again when I don’t manage to complete a task, because I deal with brain fatigue. I think that anyone who lives with someone who deals with Cerebral Palsy, will also fail to understand the complexities.

The other side of my struggle is my life and the irony I find myself in. I am 47 years old and up until the age of 26 and getting married, never had the opportunities to be independent. My decisions were always made for me, based around my growing up family. I am still expected to conform.

We have a valuer coming in today to give us a value on the house. Moving will help us take some of the stress away. I always cope and feel better with what I deal with when I limit my stress.

Once the house has been valued, we can then decide on a way forward. I hope my angels are around me today.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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8 comments on “Today's struggles”

  1. Good luck with today. I do know what you mean. I'm always here for you. I know everything that you are going through.

  2. I know what it's like to be misunderstood, as it can be painful and frustrating at the same time. I hope the evaluation goes well and you can lower your stress. Stress is an ugly beast ever waiting to rear its ugly head and bring sickness and sorrow.

    But for me luckily I have a friend that is there for me, who accepts me for who I am and helps me when I need it. We all need a friend like this. It can be a cold and cruel world out there, thank goodness I'm in here.

    I'm babbling so I will bid you farewell and good tidings. Your friend, Brian Wilson.

  3. Even though I don't have CP, I understand where you are coming from. I feel the same way with my illnesses. I know all to well that stress can be a killer. I believe it contributed to my fathers illness and untimely death.

    I really hope all goes well with the house so you can get some peace that you so much deserve. I'm here for you. Lisa

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