Since my twin's death, I have become a shadow of my former-self. Life is hard without her; I'm lonely. My writing helps, but in my personal life without her, things are very different. Watching her struggle was traumatic.

A twin death

Losing a twin means you're not just losing someone who is the other half of you, but you're also losing someone you shared the womb with, someone you grew up with, someone you shared your life with, the good and the bad and that bond never ceases.

Losing a parent or sibling

If you were to lose a parent or sibling, although it is painful, ultimately you are an individual and life for you continues. You get to continue where you left off. It's not the same for multiple births.

I talk about 'my twin'

I talk about my twin both in my personal life and on my blog. Sheila (my twin) lived. We had a relationship. Our upbringing and environment shaped our realities and relationship, and like all relationships we certainly had our ups and downs. Talking about my twin helps me to bring closure on my life as a twin, and will also reluctantly help me to open a new life moving forward.

Talking about my twin (Sheila) is part of my healing. Along the way, I am reminded and am aware that the life I had with her is gone, and that I need to carve out the other half of my life. She's gone too soon.

'Twin loss'

It is important for any twin to be listened to, supported through their loss. It is important twins are encouraged to talk about their feelings and memories and be offered a shoulder to lean on.

My voice matters and my experiences are valid. I shall keep writing, keep talking and keep honouring my twin's legacy as I navigate this new chapter in my life.