I don’t look for comparisons in other people, I tend to concentrate on my own life, but every now and again I will see a documentary where something resonates with me.

Last week I was watching the road trip documentary with James Corden and Gary Barlow from 'Take That.' When 'Take that split' and was getting bad press, he found it difficult to cope, so for 8 years he decided he would become invisible. For that split second I went back in time and that was my life.

As the documentary unfolded and Gary Barlow went on to explain his life in more detail, it became clear why he chose to withdraw from public life. He may have had different reasons for wanting to shy away from his public persona, which were different to my reasons, but the emotional side of any circumstances will always lead us to the same place.

I believe we will go through periods in our life where we learn to cope better away from the limelight. I also believe hibernation can be a useful tool as long as we work at, understand and come to terms with what we have to deal with in our lives, if only for a short while, or while we're going through hard times.

I did a lot of my thinking in that time. The danger is getting stuck in that place and doing nothing about what we must really try to deal with. Hibernation is fine as a stopgap, but that’s all it can be.

Ilana Estelle is a mental health and wellbeing advocate who combines educational insight with her personal experience of living with physical, mental, and emotional disabilities. She holds diplomas in Counselling, Diet and Nutrition, Nutritional Therapy, Psychotherapy and Counselling, and Stress Management. Through her writing, Ilana supports others in navigating their emotional, mental, and physical health challenges. In addition to writing for The CP Diary, her work has appeared in healthy lifestyle magazines. Ilana is also the author of three books: Cerebral Palsy: A Story – Finding the Calm After the Storm, Spirituality, Healing and Me, and Survival: The Covid Years – Time for Change.

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6 comments on “Withdrawing from life”

  1. I believe a lot of people hibernate to just get away from it all. I don't think I have done this intentionally, but I think I sort of hibernate.

    I don't get out and socialise because of having a special needs child that needs me or someone to care for him. Luckily we have a CNA now to help and I can now get out if just for a couple hours. I was never one to get out much anyway except for the two years between my marriages. I really got out at that point mainly to find mister right.

    We were meant to socialise, but hibernation is good as long as a person doesn't get stuck and continue to do it.

    1. Thanks Lisa. I know people who have done both, or have done one or the other.

      As you say people will hibernate to get away from it all, but others may withdraw and internalise until such a time they're strong enough to face what they may have to deal with.

      We all have different ways of coping. I tend to withdraw and internalise because I do all my thinking then.

  2. I hibernate when I find myself angered by something or someone in my personal life.

    I become invisible to avoid unnecessary confrontation, for a short period of time anyway. I need that time to calm myself and thoroughly think things through.

    There are times when we must momentarily retreat from life and examine our issues from the outside in.

    1. Thanks Tim. I think you're right. We must at least try to examine and think about the issues that bother us, particularly if we want to stay well. If it means momentarily retreating to do it, then that is what we must do.

    2. Thanks Tim. You're right. We must at least try to examine and think about the issues that bother us, particularly if we want to stay well. If it means momentarily retreating to do it, then that is what we must do.

    3. Thanks Tim. I think you're right. We must at least try to examine and think about the issues that bother us, particularly if we want to stay emotionally and physically well.

      If it means momentarily retreating, then that is what we must do.

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