Intimidating feelings

Date 11 May 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Intimidation is more about presence and looks than personality. We can walk into a room and feel intimidated by someone in the corner staring back at us. Their presence can make us feel like we don’t belong, long before they’ve even opened their mouth. Intimidating people stir up emotions within…
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We could never do more

Date 9 May 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s easy to look back and re-write history, by convincing ourselves that we could have done more to change an outcome, but from a lifetime’s experience, there’s simply no need. We did what we could at the time. Emotionally we will always beat ourselves up when we continually convince ourselves…
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Our superficial lives

Date 7 May 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
When I was growing up, superficial wasn’t in our vocabulary, because we had a different outlook on family, on friends and because we conducted our lives differently. We grew up with a completely different attitude towards people and society. Unfortunately, with superficial anything on the surface is quicker and simpler…
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Dealing with a loss

Date 6 May 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
It is hard watching a loved one work through a terminal illness, only to see them lose their fight for life. I know because I’ve been through it. As reality sets in the feeling of hopelessness beds in as we continue to work through the days that lie ahead. As…
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A Reason

Date 5 May 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
I periodically tried to ask questions as a child about my physical problems and then in my twenties I became desperate for answers. But in view of my childhood and the lack of parental support, it would go on to take me another 25 years to find the answer on…
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Seeing past the flaws

Date 3 May 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s fine when we’re level pegging. It’s fine when two people live the same lifestyle and achieve the same level of success. It’s also fine if we go through the same experiences, for both parties to sympathise for coming through those same experiences. We tend to respond differently when the…
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About outside influences

Date 2 May 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Outside influences aren’t something we can avoid, neither are they always easy to adjust to, but the reality is that those outside influences will always have an impact on our children, which makes it difficult for us. Social development is something that affects us all as soon as we’re old…
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That heavy feeling

Date 26 April 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
I have that heavy feeling, the overwhelming feeling you get with all the trappings and responsibilities of life and all that life brings. From having no support, wishing life felt easier, knowing things would have come easier if I’d been given the right tools to ...
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Lessons and mistakes

Date 25 April 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Mistakes are as a consequence of the lessons we fail to learn. We need to understand our lessons, because without understanding, we will create more mistakes and will inevitably get caught out. Understanding your lessons means cutting down on your mistakes. Lessons learned equals less mistakes, equals a better ...
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Seeing differently

Date 23 April 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Anyone with cerebral palsy will know how hard it is to deal with the physical and the neurological side of the condition. As a child, I had problems learning, with feel and texture, none of which made any sense. I didn’t know about my neurological issues and I wasn’t believed.…
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We choose not to see

Date 13 April 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
As children, we live our lives without questioning our parents, siblings or our lives, their roles in our lives, however bad those roles turn out to be. We just assume that what they say is for our greater good. It’s only ever at that point when we begin to struggle,…
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Confirmation, a sign

Date 11 April 2015
Author Ilana Estelle
Every now and again, something will come into our lives briefly as a sign to show that the universe understands, even if it can’t change things. Something happened, whilst I was watching ‘Gordon Ramsay Kitchen Nightmare show’ reality hit home that I was looking at my own life through the…
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