How to take control

Date 31 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
Although it’s not easy dealing with people who have controlling tendencies, part of their need for control is tied into self-esteem issues. It’s important for our own mental health ...
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Reminders of my CP

Date 28 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
My weekend was filled with thoughts that I feel I need to blog out. Seeing someone’s reflection in the mirror yesterday took me back to my struggling, looking at my own reflection in the mirror, whilst growing up. Over the years, I have challenged myself to look in the mirror…
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More on guilt

Date 26 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
Never trust guilt, instead act on it. The hardest thing to do is apologise if we do something wrong. I believe we distinctively know when we’ve done something wrong, because we begin to feel bad. Taking responsibility and admitting we’re wrong is different to holding on to someone else’s guilt.…
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Guilt

Date 25 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
Guilt is a burden many of us carry by the trunk load, either because of something someone else has done to us, or something we’ve done as a consequence of someone else. It’s in our subconscious, something we’re drawn to, which is why it’s difficult to let it go. But…
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My guilty feelings

Date 24 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
I believe that no matter how parents raise their children, they will never get it right one hundred per cent. But what about those of us who continue to carry guilt over the actions of our parents? I carried guilt for not persevering in school when I found it extremely…
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Support & parenting

Date 20 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
Today my mood seems to have gone downhill. I know what’s triggered the problem but cannot seem to resolve it. It’s because I have never had the opportunities to go out into the world and experience for myself what my children are now benefiting from. That just wasn’t my life.…
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On the mend

Date 19 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
Last night came and my visit to the hospital proved successful. The stitches have come out finally. I’ve put the success of the operation down to Homeopathy. I’ve been using Homeopathy for many years now, but started using some of the remedies three days before ...
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The day ahead

Date 17 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
I think a little bit of despondency has set in today. The operation to remove 6 lesions last Friday was mostly successful. I think a lot of my thoughts are here on the back of this. When I’m up and about, I’ll probably feel different again, but I need to…
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Friendships

Date 15 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
Six small lesions and four injections later, my mind has opened up to different thoughts over the last few days. I believe that having things to deal with, somehow show us a different side of ourselves that we need to see that we don’t always tap into. How quickly health…
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My thoughts on today

Date 11 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
When I feel I’m more in control, my mind tells me something different. The feelings I have are normal pre-operative feelings; but the more I try and think of other things, my mind goes back to what I’m putting myself through today. It’s amazing how the mind and body work.…
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My hospital visit

Date 10 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
An appointment has now been made for me on Friday to have my lesions taken off, so there’s no turning back. I have to do this, but wish I didn’t have to. My only concern is whether the lesions will grow back. I was told by a specialist many years…
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About my life

Date 8 March 2011
Author Ilana Estelle
I just wasn’t happy yesterday. I had made an appointment to go to see my doctor for her to have a look at two lesions that first appeared on my nose about 10 years ago.  Back then, I had it checked out; a biopsy taken and was told I wasn’t…
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