Remorse

Date 2 September 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
“True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.”- Mignon McLauglin. I have nothing to be remorseful for. Remorse is when we do something that is calculated, something we ...
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The things that I hate

Date 1 September 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
I hate that with autism my issues are issues until they become non-issues. I hate that every issue is a problem until it’s dealt with and that’s not as easy as it sounds – and others think I'm either awkward, stubborn or paranoid ...
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Building Trust

Date 29 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Trust wasn’t something I was given growing up, especially not knowing I was born with a disability. But when handled with care and understanding, a parent’s approach can lay the foundation a child needs to ...
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Denialism

Date 25 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Denialism is an irrational action that withholds the validation of an experience or event, past or present, where a person refuses to accept their reality by means of experience or observation. No matter my difficulties I never ...
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Dealing with Being Different

Date 22 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Growing up with a disability I didn't know I had, meant I was different. Dealing with being different, wasn't easy. With skirts on, you could physically see I was different, how I mentally and emotionally presented also ...
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Working Blindly

Date 20 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"It wasn’t just living in the dark, yes there was that, but others thinking it was okay no to address or talk about a disability I didn't know I had has been my biggest struggle – having to work blindly up to my diagnosis in my ...
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Finding a Place

Date 17 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
Verbal abuse (also verbal attack or verbal assault) is the act of forcefully criticising, insulting, or denouncing another person. - Wikipedia Through writing on my blog, I continue to find understanding on my experiences ...
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Care about Those who Care

Date 12 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
I have always cared – perhaps too much. I moved through life carefully, considering others, yet the same was not always returned. When we live by the expectations of others, we risk losing ourselves. In time, it becomes ...
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Scrambling in the Dark

Date 9 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
Growing up without understanding why things felt off or didn’t look right, while navigating an undiagnosed disability, was an unnecessary struggle. Living with heightened sensory issues that fed into constant anxiety ...
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My Struggle with Stairs

Date 6 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Cerebral refers to the brain, palsy refers to the impairment or loss of motor function, therefore as we age – the impairment and loss of motor function gets bigger the more our brain cells decrease. Living with cerebral ...
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Under-estimating

Date 4 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
If you've been on the receiving end of being underestimated by others over the years, it may be a hard pill to swallow. Others thinking I had less ability than I had, has always been my biggest bug bear. It was ...
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My Sensory World

Date 1 August 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
I still struggle to comprehend that I had mental disabilities as a child. Autism explains why I appear and behave indifferent and aloof, and why I have difficulty creating strong emotional bonds. But it does explain why ...
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