Getting a Grip on Anxiety

Date 25 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Not knowing I struggled with anxiety throughout my childhood years is the hardest thing I’ve had to come to terms with, knowing why has made it all the worse, because it’s something I know I will always struggle with. Anxiety Although being aware that I deal with anxiety helps to…
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The counselling scenario

Date 22 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Going into counselling when you have no idea what’s wrong with you doesn’t help you understand your life, let alone make for a productive counselling session. Why counselling didn't work Counselling was never going to work for me, because the very thing I needed to know that tied my life…
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Travel and Chronic Illness

Date 18 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
There is no getting away from the fact that I deal with a chronic and acute illness. I tend to have to work at staying well, because I am not guaranteed wellness. When it comes to travel, any road trip or holiday feels like a burden. It can also feel…
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My Education

Date 16 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
I remember having an intelligence test as a child because doctors needed to work out whether I was mentally retarded. It is not a word they use today, thankfully. My 'special needs' test The test I should have been given was a standardized intelligence and standardized adaptive skills test, based…
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A break from the norm

Date 12 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
On Saturday morning I posted my blog as usual, by Saturday afternoon I was off line and I felt panicked. I am now pleased The CP Diary is back on line. With no break in blogs for the last 8+ years, missing a day on my website, I was gutted.…
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Reinforced Insecurities

Date 10 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Deep-rooted emotions will always affect how we feel and our energy, therefore it is important to think about issues that are making us unhappy and deal with those. We are responsible for 'us' No matter how we feel, the buck stops with us. We need to be responsible for our…
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A time for mourning

Date 9 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Mourning isn’t just something we do when we lose a loved one. Mourning is also for something that happens to us, something that we need to come to understand. It’s also for something we need to work through, for us to come to terms with, something we need to accept,…
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Goodnight Beautiful Bird

Date 6 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
While out for a walk, I came across an injured pigeon that looked to have been clipped by a car and was left injured on the pavement at the side of the road. A 'good deed' The pigeon was still breathing and although injured I didn’t really know how bad…
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Getting to grips with anxiety

Date 5 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
My mind isn’t settled. It comes on the back of having to continually deal with anxiety. There seems to be no reprise. It is because my emotions are impaired that I have a permanent traffic jam in my head. And although I appreciate it’s the symptoms I need to treat,…
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Why not me?

Date 2 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, growing up with physical and emotional difficulties, it is remarkable I never once asked ‘why me?’ Instead I told myself, it was okay to be me. I didn’t seem worried about others’ opinions. My spiritual beliefs even as a child were already part of that mindset. I’d…
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Sensory Awareness Issues

Date 29 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
My earliest recollection of Sensory Awareness Issues, and how this manifested itself, was when we were on holiday and the first thing mum did for me, was look at the toilet in the bathroom. I had no idea why I struggled with toilets particularly, or why the struggle was there.…
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Left in the dark

Date 27 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
I often wonder how anyone could ignore the very thing that would bring answers to someone who was left to emotionally fend for herself for 46 years and continue to justify that it was still okay for that person not to know. Needing to understand I seem to go back…
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