Understanding and Forgiveness

Date 27 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
In our early years we can’t know or equate what our parents emotionally deal with or why we get the life we get. Our experiences affect us We are only able to filter views through our own prism, we’re not mature enough that comes with age. But our early experiences…
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Lessons for all of us

Date 26 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
If like me you believe things happen for a reason and are meant to be then how I was born, my writing and my website were all meant to be. My lessons were to deal with my anger and to find the tolerance, empathy and compassion that were hidden within…
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Persistent qualities

Date 23 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Thoughts about my disability are never far away. I’m not sure how old I was when it became clear to me that even without my disability, I would have had little opportunity around an education and travel. I would have had to have had a different ...
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Facets of my Disability

Date 22 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
The truth is I have never been properly assessed, but if I were to have been properly assessed and a percentage added as part of that assessment, I would estimate that I am 70% mentally and 30% physically disabled. Autism and Asperger’s Although I have never highlighted or thought about…
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Overcoming Barriers

Date 19 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Initially, we create and put up barriers to protect ourselves, but that can only work for a finite time, sooner or later we must take control. I’ve had to overcome barriers on my childhood: the neglect and emotional distress on a disability I didn’t know I had, has been my…
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How the body works

Date 14 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
My experiences always bring about a new thought process as part of the original experience. If I think it’s helpful because it brings about a new understanding or a new way of looking at a situation, I write about it. Being continually measured as a child, I was always being…
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Why I am uniquely different

Date 10 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Knowing what makes me is cathartic. I’m okay that I know everything about my symptoms and that needed to happen, but I’m not okay with how long it has taken me to get to know. My autism extremes Whilst we all have multiple intelligence, strengths and weakness in different areas,…
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A Little More About Karma

Date 6 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Karma is often thought of as something immediate or controllable, but in reality it unfolds in its own time. Its timing is immaterial, because it is not something we can initiate or ...
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My experiences, my thoughts

Date 3 October 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
My thoughts on my experiences, cerebral palsy, autism symptoms, the neglect and how I got to this place may never leave me. But I am determined to see all my experiences as positive. They can never right a wrong because there are simply too many, but I need to place…
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A Lack of Trust and Honesty

Date 30 September 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
In 15 years of hospital visits, having my legs measured was the consultation. After a few years you begin to think there’s nothing else wrong. I didn’t look for anything further, because there was no cause for concern. I have now made it my way to find out what I…
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My Podiatry Consultation

Date 28 September 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
A recent trip to the podiatrist has brought back some early memories I had disbanded with. I was hoping being asked to walk up and down the room without my shoes and socks on would have been easier this time around. Although I managed not to show off this time,…
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Being Misunderstood

Date 25 September 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
I have always been misunderstood. I have had others colour their assumptions of me because of a disability I didn’t know I had, through neurological difficulties and without any emotional support. Being misunderstood is emotionally draining But being misunderstood isn’t just emotionally draining, it can be like living with total…
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