My symptoms made simple

Date 24 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
This particular blog is the closest to explaining how my particular brain damage works. It’s not been an easy journey, but with the relevant help from Neurologists and a new understanding over the 8 years I have been writing, I understand more. Damaged 'frontal lobe' The frontal lobe section, known…
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Working on myself

Date 21 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
There is no getting away from the fact that I have to continually work back to try to understand how I present through the neurological impairments I was born with. I lived in a world of my own for so many years, so that I could work on myself to…
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My 'secret' disability

Date 20 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
There is no doubt that I would still be struggling to understand or talk about my experiences if I hadn’t started my Diary. The CP Diary is a place I come to just so that I can talk. Through my blog I feel emotionally free for the first time, having…
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The CP Diary is 8 today

Date 17 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
The 17th May 2010 is when it all began. What started as an inspirational tool for me to vent, has turned into so much more. It continues to be a source of daily strength for me. My website is a way for me to put my experiences into order, ticking…
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My school exams

Date 13 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Certain experiences trigger certain issues. My writing, has shaped who I have become, so it’s not all bad. There is no doubt that my father had high expectations. As children we learn and come to know many things about our parents. Results Day The day I received my exam results…
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Keeping thoughts in check

Date 9 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
I was once told by a family member that I was lucky because my cerebral palsy saved me, but it wasn’t cerebral palsy. It was my ability to dissociate and rationale in every little detail my experiences growing up, everything I needed to understand not to take my life and…
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My Kenophobia symptoms

Date 8 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Looking back on my symptoms over the years, it’s obvious I have been dealing with stress and anxiety since I was a small child and they're something I continue to deal with. Kenophobia I have also been dealing with symptoms very similar to Kenophobia and have been since my mid-thirties.…
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My Over-Compensating Senses

Date 5 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
If I woke up tomorrow without Cerebral Palsy, I wouldn’t be able to write in the way I do now and therefore wouldn’t have my website. Because of my specific neurological differences, where some of my senses have over-compensated, I can now write. When the senses are impaired, the brain…
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Joining the dots

Date 1 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
A good friend of mine commented in one of his responses that my blogs helped him maintain a firm grip on life and although my blogs help me because they are based on my own thoughts and experiences and that helps bring about closure, it is slightly different for me.…
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My anxiety struggles

Date 29 April 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
I have always dealt with anxiety ever since I was a small child and no one thought to ask the question, or do anything about it. What I didn’t know was that my anxiety was because of neurological difficulties brought about through damage to my cerebral cortex, the part of…
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Understanding 'Write & Burn'

Date 25 April 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
There is a Shamanic Teaching, which teaches us that it’s important to release ‘the old’ so that we can invite in ‘the new.’ The enormity of being kept in the dark for 46 years still weighs heavily. Although I have already written a blog about the ‘Write & Burn letter’…
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Making your own difference

Date 22 April 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
On the 17th May 2018, The CP Diary will be 8 years old and into its 9th year. Never having missed a blog, I still continue to blog. I’ve moved on emotionally with my life since those initial days. Through my writing, I have proved that through a history of…
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