We can't go back

Date 22 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
'We can’t go back to yesterday we were different people then.' If we were to go back, we wouldn’t know what we know now, we’ve grow emotionally and mentally through our experiences. I wouldn’t be writing, and my life would never change because the people in it would still be…
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2017, a different era

Date 19 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I feel 2017 has catapulted us into a different era, a different more uncertain world. Not one that I like and a world that’s not easy to get my head around. With Northern Ireland’s lack of a coalition government, the UK’s Brexit, Teresa May and now the impending inauguration of…
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Feeling guilt

Date 11 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
There’s a photograph I go back to, because it reminds me of the life I had, where I didn’t know about my physical disabilities. I was 9 years old. It reminds me of a life lost, a life troubled, a lie. It wasn’t me. It was a different version of…
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Seeing things as they are

Date 9 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Calling a spade and spade and black and white scenarios are inextricably linked and form the bigger picture of our lifestyle choices, depending on how we choose to see things. Observing  life through your intuition Growing up I was more observing of my life and through those observations, I became…
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My stress

Date 7 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Sorting our issues out, very much depends on what’s going on around us, but if we all worked together, our issues would not only get sorted out, but they would get sorted out quicker too. Given my blog, it would be easy to conclude that my life’s in order that…
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Parents and Trust

Date 5 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
remember a conversation that took place between me and a senior consultant when I went to find out and I got my cerebral palsy diagnosis. The consultant said that if I had have known about my cerebral palsy as a child, I would have had to wear calipers and put…
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Lowering my expectations

Date 3 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
If I was to make one change this year it would be to lower my expectations. We put countless expectations out there. We anticipate people will do things, make things happen and then feel let down when they don’t. When expectations fail And whilst people have their own expectations of…
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A reflection, 2016

Date 31 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s that time of year again where I get to reflect on my year with the Diary. I still can’t believe the Diary is into its 7th year. It’s been a busy year for the Diary and as we look to 2017 we must continue to open our minds to…
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Dealing with trauma

Date 26 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
It is not possible to go through life without knowing what you deal with and not have any trauma attached to not knowing. And whilst we know there is a link between emotions and ill-health, lifestyle contribute. If we’re never encouraged to express how we feel, we will never talk…
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Call a spade a spade

Date 22 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, I learned not to talk about my feelings, but I am able to do that now through my blog. I see talking as a necessity. I call a spade a spade. I describe things as they are. All scenarios are either black or white, there are no…
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Time to think

Date 18 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, I used to retreat into my own little world. I’m not sure why but I was comfortable in my own space. I was happy there. We all have issues, but however we get to sort our issues out, they need to be solved and we need to…
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My Journey

Date 12 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
On the days I struggle to come to terms with the enormity of my neglect, I need to start looking at my experiences in another way. I need to understand why I was given this life. It doesn’t take away the initial problems of how I got to this place,…
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