Holding My Own Story

Date 8 January 2026
Author Ilana Estelle
A Reflection on Healing, Truth, and the Quiet Courage of Honouring Your Own Story A Note to My Inner Child – self-healing, emotional growth, mental health reflections. You waited a long time to know about and to understand ...
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Learning to Exist When You Were Taught to Survive

Date 5 January 2026
Author Ilana Estelle
Growing up and Learning How to Survive My childhood was shaped by difficulties – emotional instability, and the quiet weight of growing up autistic without knowing it. Without the language or diagnosis to understand my ...
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Stepping Gently Into the Year Ahead

Date 2 January 2026
Author Ilana Estelle
On New Beginnings and Becoming More Present There comes a time when life quietly asks us to turn a page –not because the past happened,but because it was fully lived. We may find ourselves in a new place now, learning ...
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What Surviving Looks Like Now

Date 31 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
A Reflection on Twin Loss, Grief, Anxiety, and Choosing Gentleness Not “moving on,” but learning to carry it. What that actually looks like day to day. It's 3 years and it's another year notched up without my twin ...
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Between Knowing and Becoming

Date 28 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
Why Awareness Arrives Long Before You’re Ready to Change There’s a strange moment when you realise you understand something – and nothing moves.You can explain it, trace it, name where it began and why it ...
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Christmas 2025 Reflections

Date 25 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
When the Year Has Been Hard, We Keep Going As Christmas 2025 arrives, I am lonely without my twin. Her absence has changed the way the world feels. Life for me is harder now. I am grateful for every story shared, and for every ...
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When Fear is Learned

Date 23 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
When Lived Experience Meets Research Although my experiences are deeply personal, many of the things I struggled with growing up are reflected in research. Not knowing anything as a child, I've had to research everything as ...
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Twin Loss Without the Mirror

Date 19 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
A Quiet Bond, A Life Forever Changed Grief after the loss of a twin is deeply misunderstood. Many people assume twin relationships are defined by mirrored identities and continual closeness. But not all twins share that dynamic ...
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Writing Through The Noise

Date 16 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
Continuing to Write with Hope in an Unbalanced World This is a personal reflection on how, for me, writing has become more challenging in today’s world – shaped by social change, politics, and a growing loss of fairness and ...
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Why I Write: Staying Honest Through Change

Date 12 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
On Change, Continuity, and Staying True to why This Space Exists If you’ve been reading this blog for a while, you may have noticed a few small changes in how things look around here. I’ve been making some behind-the-scenes ...
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Healing is Learning to Live with Loss

Date 8 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
Grief and Learning to Live Without My Twin Grief has a strange way of teaching you, even when you don’t want the lesson. It cannot be avoided or rescheduled. Losing my twin reminds me just how quickly life can change. I haven’t ...
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The CP Diary: Finding My Voice

Date 8 December 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
For decades, I lived with something I struggled with, something I didn't know I had. It influenced more than I understood at the time. I didn’t question it, because it wasn't a choice. Instead, I assumed that was simply how ...
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