My feelings today

Date 25 July 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Today has been the kind of day I’d like to forget. Between not sleeping and family stuff going on that I can’t change, I have concluded I need to move on. Not by choice, out of necessity. I need to get to a mental place where I can have more…
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Yesterday's thoughts

Date 18 July 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
My negative feelings tend to come back when I do something that serves as a gentle reminder on what I deal with. Six minutes of exercise is all it took. I’ll work on staying stronger. I am lucky my Cerebral Palsy is mild, but I also know that my life…
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I'm back

Date 16 July 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I'm back on the site today.
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My journal

Date 12 July 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I slow down when brain fatigue sets in, me just trying to function normally. I have never really known this before. As a child none of this was evident, I had never heard of brain fatigue, let alone have it. My family and I went to Salts Mill in Saltaire…
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Prejudice

Date 10 July 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Some time ago, having visited a hygienist as part of my dental examinations, I faced what I can only describe as prejudice. My Dentist had already mentioned to me that there was evidence of reflux on my teeth. A visit to the Dentist A visit to the dentist turned into…
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Another restful day

Date 5 July 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Taking a day off the site today. I need to rest. No thoughts, just a chilled day. I will be back on the site tomorrow.
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Staying positive

Date 3 July 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I find that my days always have a marked effect on my mood around what I deal with emotionally around cerebral palsy. I can start off with such positive thoughts then my mood spirals. I need people in my life who are positive. I see myself as being positive, but…
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Acceptance

Date 27 June 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I know what this feels like. In society and in the home very few people look beyond a person’s disability to see the real person underneath. We need to be more accepting of others and that comes when we’re more accepting of ourselves. For those who deal with any long-term…
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Watch this space

Date 25 June 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I live with and manage Cerebral Palsy, but I need to also have good health. Good health is the catalyst for me managing Cerebral Palsy on a daily basis. When I started The CP Diary I had no idea about what I was going to write about.  All I knew…
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Venting

Date 23 June 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I’m having one of those days playing catch up and waiting for phone calls that aren’t forthcoming. Life would certainly be easier if I got the call backs. It’s just so frustrating. I’m struggling a bit, unconsciously thinking about other issues. Nothing is standing out and all I know is…
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Evaluating my life

Date 22 June 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I know that the realisation that I could have researched my birth notes many years ago, has left me with a lot of uncertainty, a closing door that could have given me the answers, acceptance or closure on what I know now to be Cerebral Palsy. A year ago I…
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Opinions, but the wrong ones

Date 21 June 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, because I was never taught to have an opinion, I never expressed one. I sometimes wonder why people have opinions about everyone and everything and why those opinions then become part of their everyday lives. It makes what we deal with so much harder, as if what…
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