How I feel today

Date 18 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
I had my journal all planned out, then I woke up and my day started to go pear shaped, so I'll publish that journal tomorrow. We tend to rely on a network of people who support us through our life and although we don’t equate most of those ...
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My childhood struggles

Date 16 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Writing about my childhood is important. It is important I write about the emotional struggles I experienced as a child; they seem completely relevant now. I’ve talked about negative self-talk and how that can impact our lives. Growing up, I found it difficult to shift bad thoughts. I didn’t understand…
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All about our subconscious

Date 14 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
The subconscious is a powerful tool. It’s not something we are consciously aware of, but it’s there and we need to continue to make ourselves aware. It’s the tool that runs our life behind the scenes. Sadly, it’s not equipped to distinguish between truth and non-truths. It accepts what it’s…
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Taking responsibility

Date 9 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
When it comes to responsibility, we can apportion our baggage and discontentment to the events of our past where family is concerned, but that doesn’t help, because we still have to function in the present. Instead, we must take responsibility for ourselves. By the time we’re adults, we’ve already stacked…
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The ties that bind

Date 7 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Blogging on my website The CP Diary, has allowed me to document my experiences with cerebral palsy, after finding out that is what I’d been struggling with up to the age of forty-six, when I received my diagnosis. I also talk about the fact that it wasn’t a freak of…
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The same old feelings

Date 6 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
The emotional ties of having to bring stability to my life takes time and effort and can be an emotional strain sometimes. Keeping my family’s lives on track, means having to pull out the stops constantly. I have to think quickly on my feet and put ...
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Random... today's thoughts

Date 2 October 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
There is a train of thought that if you’ve never known anything different, then it must be easier to live with what you have. In reality, I feel it’s very different. On the contrary, we live amongst people with abilities, who don’t have a disability. That makes it harder for…
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Parenting roles

Date 30 September 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
The parenting role for a mum has always differed from that of a father, but I wanted to explore why it seems to be the mum children turn to, when they’re looking for someone to blame. When I was little, Mum was always to blame. It didn’t matter what we…
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Working through difficulties

Date 28 September 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Someone once told me that my blogs showed my ability to work through my life with ease. It may look like that but that’s not always how it is. But the comment did get me thinking. There are times when I struggle. But it’s important for me to continue to…
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A new day

Date 26 September 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Something inspirational: How do you wake up on a morning? Do you wake up full of the joys of spring, or are you tired and wake up with a not wanting to bother attitude. Embrace a new day. Whether you wake up to an alarm clock or to the birds’…
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My childhood

Date 22 September 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s an emotional strain living with cerebral palsy. Although I pride myself on coping quite well, it often depends on what’s going on in my life. I tend to have a lot of things going on, so whatever I am dealing with at the time that becomes the support. I…
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Learning about acceptance

Date 17 September 2010
Author Ilana Estelle
Having little to no motivation left me feeling somewhat out of control. That feeling of bewilderment, where everything you have done should fall into place, but never can and leaves you with no direction at all. From a very early age I was always accepting of my life and that…
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