Out of lockdown thoughts

Date 9 May 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
Although coming out of lockdown has been a welcome distraction from Covid-19 for many, being high risk means I am still home. The jury is still out, because scientists know that whilst we were in lockdown, the virus rates ...
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My Mental and Emotional Healing

Date 6 May 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
“Physiologically is defined as relating to the normal functions of a living thing.” – as an adverb ‘doing well physiologically’ means functioning in a healthy way. (Source: https://www.Merrium-webster.com) Growing up and not ...
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Knowing brings understanding

Date 1 May 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
We all have a right to know about our life and talk about how we feel. The truth is that without knowing, exploring or understanding our experiences, we may never feel whole or comfortable with ourselves, or our ...
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The old life I had is gone

Date 25 April 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
Even though we are now officially out of lockdown, I am still staying home. When I go out for a walk, I shall continue to wear a mask. The old life I had is gone. Whilst people are now going about their lives, I hope they will ...
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Time and Healing

Date 24 April 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
Many things spring to mind when I write about my physical, mental and emotional disability. I am irritated by how I got here. That part hasn't got any easier. They say time is a great healer and in many respects it's true, time heals ...
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The odd one out

Date 21 April 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
“The odd one out is a person or thing is different from or kept apart from others that form a group or set.” – Cambridge Dictionary Autism and difference It is because I have autism that I am considered different and stigmatised ...
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Autism and Emotional Immaturity

Date 13 April 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
What is emotional immaturity? I ask that because people like me with autism are affected by this. I differ from the way neuro-typicals understand emotional maturity. Through autism I see and navigate the world differently. Being ...
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A weight off my shoulders

Date 9 April 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
Finding out about cerebral palsy at 46 and autism at 56, means the weight off my shoulders has finally been lifted. Learning about my disabilities, my symptoms and my challenges has literally been life-changing. Anything we ...
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Getting to grips with Autism

Date 5 April 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
Imagine looking at yourself in the mirror growing up and you can’t see the animation in your eyes or your smile, and you don’t understand why. And as you clean your face daily, and as you look in the mirror, you keep going back to ...
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The thing about truth

Date 3 April 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
From an early age I have always lived with my own truth. It was also important others told me the truth. I would rather have heard the truth and it feel uncomfortable than have to work through the consequences of being told a lie ...
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Two Sides of Me

Date 31 March 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
There have always been two sides to me, the side where I write with ease and that part makes sense, then there’s the side of me that lives with continual struggles around anxiety and autism that never goes away. My not so easy ...
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Covid-19, my pre-existing conditions

Date 27 March 2021
Author Ilana Estelle
Whilst we may all be home right now, once we’re out of lockdown and the country begins to open up again, I will be more vulnerable to catching Covid-19 because I deal with a pre-existing condition. My impossible realities ...
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