Welcome to 2018

Date 1 January 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Welcome to 2018. A time for reflection again. For those of us who have already made amends to continue in the New Year and for those of us who haven’t quite managed to start, to try to give things a go. Although the New Year can bring challenges, it can…
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Bringing 2017 to a close

Date 31 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
This year I chose to combine my reflections on 2017 with a Christmas blog, so there’s not much more left for me to say as 2017 draws to a close, suffice to say I wish you all a healthy and happy 2018. I would like to take this opportunity to…
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Keeping up the pretence

Date 27 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
My life was about having to keep up the pretence through a non-diagnosis and others still expecting me to conform as if nothing was wrong, without me being allowed to question my physical, mental and emotional issues. The irritating thing is that I never understood my issues, but conformed anyway,…
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Our all too familiar lives

Date 23 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Being kept in the dark well into my forties continues to irritate me. Now finding out that I have 12 years of medical records missing is adding to that. It’s reinforcing what I’ve had to deal with and is having a bearing on how I feel. Add a disability and…
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A reflection, 2017

Date 22 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s at this time of the year that I get to put my thoughts together. How I see the year and reflect. There is so much to think about when it comes to Christmas, the build-up can be incredibly stressful; particularly around its planning. I liken it to going on…
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The 'Spirit' of The CP Diary

Date 19 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I started my blog 7 years ago to talk about a late Cerebral Palsy diagnosis, to be able to understand my life and my experiences. It was a first positive step for change. I wanted to find a place for my emotions coming into a late diagnosis. When people started…
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My Medical Records

Date 11 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I don’t normally do two personal blogs back to back, but felt I needed further clarification on my medical records. I have become slightly agitated and angry at what I’m looking at, but it also doesn’t surprise me that there are gaps in my medical records between 1965 (the year…
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Symptoms and Diagnoses

Date 10 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I wish I could say that all my symptoms are boxed and ticked under the right diagnosis, but sadly that’s isn’t the case. Yet more confusion. Some of my symptoms could form part of the Cerebral Palsy scenario and others part of the Spina Bifida diagnosis, but I may never…
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Overlooked vs Ignorance

Date 7 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
My childhood thoughts on how things happened are never far away. Although any disability being overlooked would have been bad enough as a child, it felt worse knowing that my disability was emotionally ignored. There is a difference between someone being overlooked and someone being ignored, particularly if it’s a…
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My Autism Symptoms

Date 3 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I’ve had a lot on my mind recently since looking through my medical notes again. It is vital for any specialist to be informed about the child they’re treating. Had the specialist been told by my father, he will have come to understand that some of my behaviour traits fitted…
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A new cerebral palsy diagnosis

Date 1 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
At the age of two and a half I was being treated for a spastic monoparesis, although I didn’t know I had been diagnosed. Then, at the age of forty-six, after I had arranged an MRI scan, I was diagnosed with the same condition. When I was referred on to…
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My Spina Bifida diagnosis

Date 27 November 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
I initially dismissed having spina bifida because I had no obvious symptoms, but my medical notes clearly state that at the age of fourteen in 1977, that is what I had. In that same consultation, and again in my notes, the specialist confirmed that I would have some mental retardation,…
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