The cycle of abuse

Date 19 January 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
The reality is that because we don’t consciously see or equate people’s bad behaviour with abuse, we may continually accept the behaviour we’re presented with. But being aware of what is considered abuse, is the first step to understanding what abuse looks like. A person’s undertones, being intimidating and where…
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Why we may fail

Date 16 January 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Just because we choose to block things out, doesn’t mean those things didn’t happen, in the same way failing to acknowledge another person’s success doesn’t mean that person didn’t meet with success. Blocking anything out, doesn’t make it so. It just means we may not only fail to recognise other…
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Why we mustn't question

Date 11 January 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
We will stop questioning ourselves when we start believing in ourselves. We question ourselves because we lack the confidence to believe in ourselves. It’s a vicious circle. Believing in ourselves is another way of saying we have confidence. When we have the confidence, we’re telling ourselves and the world we…
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Saying how things are

Date 8 January 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Although being open and transparent doesn’t often reward us with brownie points from those who aren’t, it does mean we get to sit comfortably with our conscience. Bad behaviour Being open and transparent may not always sit comfortably with others, but bad behaviour shouldn’t have to be tolerated.  If we…
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Losing motivation

Date 4 January 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
We’re all capable of working through issues, but we often lose motivation when people continually undermine us and who are the reason behind our lack of motivation, how we feel about ourselves. It may be that you know people, who continually bring you down, who leave you to defend yourself.…
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Coping with unconscious bias

Date 3 January 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
With every conversation we have, good or bad that conversation becomes part of new conversations. Through unconscious bias, conversations that have taken place, never stay within the confinements of the original conversation. Conversations follow us into new relationships All previous conversations will unconsciously follow us into new relationships with us…
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Forcing others to adapt

Date 30 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Others are expected and in some cases forced to adapt into their lives around what they deal with. It’s not just around disabilities, but in other walks of life too where they’re expected to fit in. Society, people’s cultures, social ...
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Holding on to hope

Date 26 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
There’s something inside us that holds on to hope, as if our lives depend on it. As we continue our journey, we continue to hold on to hope that somehow our lives will change. Hope is an inner feeling that stays with us. It’s a shining light not yet shone.…
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Hostile undertones

Date 21 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Hostile undertones are so familiar they’ve become part of everyday speak. They’re not funny, particularly if you happen to be the one on the receiving end. When anyone grows up with negativity, or around sarcasm, they can continue to play out negative thinking and sarcasm. Whether it’s wisecracks, poking fun…
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Resentment and the truth

Date 17 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
Persistent feelings of anger can always harbour resentment, but why is it in our best interest to let go? It’s in our best interest to let go because resentment can make us physically unwell. As we begin to let go of resentment, we can begin to strengthen our identity and…
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Using Introspection

Date 15 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
My thoughts are never far away from my unconscious thinking. But introspection isn’t a one minute wonder. It’s something that must be honed. We know what introspection is but why should we use it? We should use it because without the examination or observation of our own emotional and mental…
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Turning poison into nectar

Date 13 December 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
We live our lives holding on to resentment and poison expecting others to swallow first, as if our lives depend on it, and yet it’s us who live with the mental and emotional struggles. But no matter how many things are done to us, we are the authors of our…
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