All Burned Out

Date 11 November 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
I continually lived with trauma as a child growing up with a disability I didn't know I had. With everything I’ve had to deal with over the years, and through the trauma of losing my twin in December 2022, I literally feel worn ...
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The Importance of Mental Health

Date 9 November 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
Mental health is important, but we insist on making other things more relevant, and more important. Since my twin died in December 2022, I seem to be reflecting more than when my parents died. Cerebral Palsy is a gift Cerebral ...
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Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

Date 4 November 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
I am not underestimating my illness in the last 10 months since my twin passed away and what I went through in the preceding months before she died. Watching my twin decline in the months leading up to her death resulted in ...
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Growing Up as a Twin

Date 1 November 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
Without my twin, the world has just got a whole lot scarier. As children we were two peas in a pod, we looked similar and we dressed the same. We attended the same schools, were in the same class, and shared the same friends ...
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Validation of The CP Diary

Date 29 October 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
The CP Diary is now on Medium! Below is the first paragraph to one of my mental health blogs, followed by a response from a reader, Julia Kalman. I am grateful to Julie for her validation. "Writing on my blog for 12 years ...
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My Twin Loss: Healing the Grief

Date 27 October 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
For anyone experiencing the loss of a twin, life can be a daunting challenge, when we’re left to pick up the pieces without our other half. The grief and void we feel is like no other, particularly because twins lives are biologically ...
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Toxic Positivity: Why the Cup isn't Always Half Full

Date 21 October 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
“How do you stay optimistic with all that’s happening in the world?” It's a question I've been asked many times. I have always been positive, I’m not sure I would call myself optimistic, but I do recognise seeing my cup half full ...
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Twin Connections

Date 17 October 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
Losing my twin in December 2022, I am struggling, I'm not going to lie, but I am also comforted knowing she is okay, because I have seen the signs. I need to get myself physically well again. The trauma of watching her ...
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Writing is Hard

Date 16 October 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
When I first started writing for The CP Diary 13 years ago, it was a completely different world. It was easier to write about my thoughts and feelings and to introduce different topics to my blog so that my blog could appeal ...
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My Spiritual Grounding

Date 13 October 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
My spirituality, even as far back as a child has kept me grounded, humbled. Today it still does. I couldn’t write without it. It walks into the room before I do. I have never needed the material kind to keep me happy. Spirituality and ...
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Still feeling poorly

Date 9 October 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
I hate where I am with my health since my twin passed away. Two months after my twin passed I was diagnosed with Eagle Syndrome then I developed a mouth ligament injury from the stress of her illness, which I have been struggling ...
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Trauma: The Loss of My Twin

Date 4 October 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
In the months leading up to my twin’s death there is no doubt I was constantly dealing with trauma. Losing my twin has had a profound effect on me. The mouth ligament tightness is everything to do with the trauma, her passing and the ...
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