Being The Black Sheep

Date 11 April 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
In the English language, black sheep is an idiom that describes a member of a group who is different from the rest, especially a family member who does not fit in. The term stems from sheep whose fleece is colored black rather ...
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Covid Is Still Out There

Date 8 April 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
Like 500k other people in the UK, (Google) I am still living in part isolation/shielding with no end in sight. For people like me, lockdown never really ended because society dropped all precautionary measures. Immunocompromised means ...
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Disability Rights

Date 5 April 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
At school I was invisible, nobody saw me. I morphed into the background, I wasn’t popular. I was ignored throughout my school life. Although my school didn’t know I was disabled, they did know I struggled and to make ...
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Trigeminal Neuralgia

Date 3 April 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
First it was Covid, then it was a cough and flu virus. Having gone for my routine check-up at the dentist it was confirmed there is a tightening of the muscle at the back of my mouth on the left side, my cerebral palsy side. The right side ...
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Newest Addition to the Family

Date 28 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, my family acquired a couple of goldfish through the fair ground. I shudder at that, but it was my first introduction to a ‘pet’. What I wanted was a dog, but that didn’t happen. Mum being bitten by a dog was the reason she ...
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Why Morality Matters

Date 25 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
I write and live my life from a moral standpoint. I always have. Everything I write is assessed and well-thought out. Following the universal ‘rules of the road’ I breathe and live with morality. It’s what makes the world successful. Given the ...
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Seeking Human Kindness

Date 22 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child I struggled, physically, mentally, and emotionally with a disability I didn’t know I had, and as a result I was outwardly struggling and that changed who I was. I remember my mother telling me if I had nothing better to say ...
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I Had No Goals or Ambition

Date 18 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, I had no goals or ambition. Neither were instilled in me and as a result, I didn’t hone-in on them. Instead, I continued to hone-in on a diagnosis, which was never forthcoming. I've had to work everything out. When something ...
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The Covid Timeline

Date 15 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
I write about Covid-19 because it’s not gone. With autism it’s not easy to navigate the pandemic. It is still a relatively new virus, which we're being told we're going to have to live with and which we're constantly learning more about ...
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Autism in the Pandemic

Date 13 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
Navigating any disability is hard, in a pandemic it’s impossible. There are times when I live with fear and feel unsafe. While we haven't been told Covid is gone, I shall continue to write about it. I have never felt so unsafe, as I do ...
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Taking Steps Towards Positive Change

Date 9 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
The CP Diary’s aim is to help you improve your mental, emotional and psychological wellbeing so that you can make a difference to your life. That doesn’t mean I can cure or fix your problems, you will need to do that yourself. My blog ...
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Elements of Struggle

Date 7 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
I’ve often heard people say when someone close dies, a part of them dies with them. I understand and can resonate with their thinking, with their words. Losing my twin has been enormously difficult. Losing my twin feels so ...
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