Bad Days

Date 4 March 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
I've had a lot of bad days in my life. In the pandemic I still do. As a child, I used to consciously wish my life was different, easier. Unconsciously, I had no clue what any of it meant. Every day I hoped that whatever my physical ...
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The Past Doesn't Stay in the Past

Date 26 February 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
The past doesn’t stay in the past. Around mental health, If there’s something you have struggled with that you haven't dealt with, rest assured, it will continue to meet you in your present. Before my writing days, I couldn’t mentally ...
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Coping with Loss and Grief

Date 24 February 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
Watching someone close to you decline is difficult enough, not understanding their decline is harder. But even if you know and you slowly prepare yourself, preparation means nothing when reality hits and you’re there. I came across ...
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Still Unwell

Date 20 February 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
It's now 20 days into February and I am still not feeling like I did pre-Covid. Poorly from the first week in December with Covid, I’m now recovering from a cough and flu virus, which is slow to go. I’m sure I have long-covid. I wake ...
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The CP Diary Blog To Model for Success

Date 13 February 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
In 2009 When I first found out about my cerebral palsy diagnosis and in 2010 when I started The CP Diary, the world was different. The world was less complicated and complex, life was orderly and simple back then. It’s getting more ...
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Still Sick

Date 6 February 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s already been 3 weeks and what started as a sore throat and cough is still a sore throat and a cough, struggling to get physically better. Having Covid in December has added to my complications of recovery and is the reason I am still ...
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Sick, sick, sick

Date 2 February 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
I mentioned in an earlier blog that I had Covid days before my twin passed on the 10th December, so I was unable to say goodbye to her. It's the beginning of February and I am still sick. Not having recovered fully from ...
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Unsettling times

Date 20 January 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
My writing gives me a reason to motivate after losing my twin. There is a lot on the wide-world web that confirms losing a twin isn’t like losing a sibling, it runs deeper. It very much feels like that. Feeling my twin's absence I am feeling ...
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Developmental Trauma

Date 17 January 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
It isn't possible to grow up with a disability you don't know you have, and not live with trauma. I continue to talk about my experiences with developmental trauma through my writing, because trauma isn't something you ...
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Learn to be a Support

Date 14 January 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
When I tell others I have autism they usually say ‘sorry,' but you don't have to be sorry, it's what I get to deal with, you don't have to apologise. We all deal with something.I am okay with it, it has opened more doors than it has closed ...
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Facing Life Without My Twin

Date 9 January 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
A few days into 2023, and I’m struggling to comprehend what has happened and where my personal life has taken me. I could never have envisaged a life without my twin. I’m not sure how she views her life in spirit, but the split ...
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Common Misconceptions on Spirituality

Date 6 January 2023
Author Ilana Estelle
Before I understood and began to practice spirituality, like others I was somewhat confused on what spirituality was, but like all beliefs it's a lifestyle choice that can bring about peace if you continue to incorporate it ...
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