The Whole Picture

Date 9 July 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
Since I started my blog 9 years ago, it has been important for me to become acquainted with cerebral palsy and autism – my symptoms, to fully understand what I deal with – and to be able to place each symptom. It is also ...
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Autism and Vulnerability

Date 7 July 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"The way others react to how I present keeps shining a light on my vulnerability, making my neurological difficulties more obvious. It leaves me exposed, facing the raw edges of my symptoms – symptoms I now understand to ...
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Never Coming to Terms

Date 4 July 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Growing up, and only finding out at the age of 46 that I had cerebral palsy meant I was left in the dark for all those years. When I think about my struggles and how long I went through those struggles, it's something I struggle ...
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My Bitter-sweet Life

Date 1 July 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Life for me has been bitter sweet, bitter because I’ve had to fumble my way through the dark and sweet because mum telling me my birth was difficult, catapulted me into a new life. That was difficult. I don't think I will ever ...
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My Book

Date 27 June 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
After 3 years of completing my manuscript, it's become somewhat of an anti-climax, probably because I never thought it would happen in my lifetime – and as a result I have become more reflective. At the start of the ...
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Believing I was Normal

Date 25 June 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
I grew up knowing only about a bad leg and foot. That much was obvious because it was something you could see. Wearing skirts made it more obvious, because you could see me walk toe heel, and because I walked with a limp ...
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Failing Expectations

Date 23 June 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Parents often have expectations of their children. I didn’t live up to my father’s, and looking back, I did care. With what turned out to be a disability, there should have been no pressure. There should have been no expectations ...
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Understanding Autism

Date 22 June 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
It's not always easy to understand Autism and how we present, but it shouldn't stop society trying to understand. Autism Autism is a disability and no two people with the condition will present in the same way. How it plays out will ...
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My Anxiety Mantra

Date 19 June 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, and not knowing I was dealing with anxiety, or why I struggled with bad thoughts meant as I continued to grow up I continued to deal with both. As an adult, I began to use a mantra to free my mind from ...
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It's Never Easy

Date 13 June 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"My head's in a tail spin most days because I deal with anxiety and autism, it's never easy. I hate that I deal with anxiety and that I struggle to find clarity. I hate how autism and anxiety makes me feel. All I tend to want to do ...
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Future Plans

Date 10 June 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
Three years ago, I received a request for a guest post from an agency whose client asked to do a guest blog on my website, and it got me thinking about 'my story' and whether if I put pen to paper I could create a memoir. The ...
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So Many Questions

Date 6 June 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, I was angry because I was aware I presented differently and there was no mental or emotional support in place. Things became more obvious as soon as I started school. Problems with My 'Learning' But it wasn’t just ...
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