Intellectual Arrogance

Date 20 May 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Something I had that I didn't know was a disability, was never given the time of day, talked about or aired as a child, and suffice to say that’s how it stayed. The hard part was having to co-exist in an environment where ...
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The CP Diary is 9 today

Date 17 May 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
Another back-to-back blog, but all for a good cause! Today, my website turns 9 years old – now heading into its 10th year of blogging – and I couldn’t be happier. With each passing year, it gets trickier to find the right ...
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Asperger's and Me

Date 9 May 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
Another back to back. Having grown up with fear and anxiety issues and having been diagnosed in January 2019 with Asperger’s, I now understand why I have Asperger’s and how my Asperger's works. Cerebral Palsy and ...
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Same Old Thoughts

Date 8 May 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"It probably doesn't come as any big surprise that I am still struggling with the concept that I was left to fumble in the dark for 46 years, not knowing I had a disability or what it was – and having no emotional support to deal with ...
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Irrational Fears and Sensory Processing Disorder

Date 5 May 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
With Sensory Processing Disorder ("SPD") I continually deal with anxiety and fear, a fear that can sometimes be irrational, particularly around illness. That doesn’t mean I’m irrational – it just means my fears are. Rational ...
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Feelings through Words

Date 2 May 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"Because of the extensive damage to my cerebral cortex caused by cerebral palsy, I don’t have the ability to tune into, or respond to another person’s emotions. I can’t instinctively sense how someone else is feeling as if their emotions ...
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The injustice of it all

Date 30 April 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
There’s a photograph of me as a child that I often find myself peering at. I don't know how old I was but I must have been about 8 or 9, sitting on a chair on my knees in a blue and white gingham dress with our back garden behind…
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Shutting Down

Date 26 April 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
I have always known I emotionally shut down, but perhaps withdrawal feels more accurate. I withdraw when sensory input becomes too much, where there is too much negativity, too many decisions to deal with and too ...
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A Lifetime of Disbelief

Date 23 April 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
Given the depth of hurt and unnecessary suffering, it’s no surprise that the same thoughts keep circling in my mind. They are shaped by my experiences, and letting go of them isn’t easy. I still struggle to understand the ...
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More on My Cerebral Palsy

Date 22 April 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
It's 56 years into a disability I didn’t know I had, and there are new things that I am needing to come to terms with. Even though I didn't know anything about an affected left arm until I got my cerebral palsy diagnosis, my ...
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Ignorance isn't Bliss

Date 19 April 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
"I would have to question whether ignorance is bliss. I guess the answer is whether not knowing about something is something you can live with. I couldn't live with it. My Diary is the reason I know about my disability, but don't let ...
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Holding a Candle to Someone

Date 11 April 2019
Author Ilana Estelle
Autism allows me to see the world in black and white. I see the good, the bad, and the uncomfortable truths exactly as they are – without distortion or sugar-coating. Where others may overlook or excuse certain ...
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