Accepting Disability

Date 28 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
When I was born in the 1960s, disability was scarcely mentioned in public discourse or legislation. Britain’s legal landscape was practically silent on the matter, except for references to compensation claims ...
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The value of positive emotions

Date 24 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Having lived through experiences I wouldn’t want others to have experienced and not having the emotional support, I know and understand the beneficial psychological effects of talking about how we feel. Negative emotions and chronic illness Psychology has turned its attentions to researching and looking into negative emotions and negative…
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Making the connections

Date 21 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
When we’re not emotionally present, we will fail to make the connections between what we think and what we feel. Traumatic experiences will always prevent emotional development. Pain brought about through trauma isn’t always something we recognise, or we may know and keep it to ourselves. It’s rare we open…
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Principles of Morality

Date 17 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
If you believe in karma, you will know we are not punished for our sins, but by them. If we abuse for long enough, the very things that are precious to us, will be the very things we lose. It is something we must all think about. The universe judges…
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You are not your role

Date 14 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Our jobs, society, family, heritage and culture, all create roles for us, but who we are has nothing to do with those roles. Uniquely and individually, we are us. Our personality should dictate who we are, rather than our roles dictate who we are. We are people first, our role…
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Holding a grudge

Date 8 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
My mum used to quote the saying ‘no one goes go to school to be a parent’, but that puts children at a disadvantage. It tells children that however their parents parent, they’re supposed to be okay with it. But it’s not always okay, because children’s lives are shaped by…
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OCD and Perfectionism

Date 4 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
The majority of us will hold ourselves to an impossible standard that is difficult to uphold, where we continue to aim for perfection. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Perhaps us having to have things perfect, is our way of saying we’re not good enough, or we’re not perfect. Those thoughts, together with…
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Changing the initial response

Date 1 June 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Changing the initial response to something, is important if we are to avoid closing ourselves further in. But without changing the initial response, we cannot expect anything to work, or change. The initial response needs to change if circumstances are to change. When it comes to obsessions or compulsions, without…
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Breaking the cycle of abuse

Date 31 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
Abuse and the cycle of abuse will always continue unless the cycle is broken. But often the root of abuse is deeply embedded in the inequalities of culture and sex roles, roles that we don’t ever think about in that way, but that have the potential to cause abuse in…
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Siblings coming together

Date 25 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
The hardest part for any child is to watch a parent work through a terminal illness. Growing up, we think our parents are indestructible that they're going to be around forever. It’s also hard if as a child, you haven’t had the best of relationships with that parent. But as…
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Control, Neglect and Abuse

Date 23 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
When we go through any type of abuse, psychologically we become different people. Abuse if allowed to continue, runs through generations and families. Children who are subjected to abuse, tend to have to adapt to their environment. In the 60’s, abuse wasn’t a thing, it was accepted that children adapted…
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Fights affecting children

Date 19 May 2018
Author Ilana Estelle
It is common for parents to argue. Parents don’t always agree on everything and that is accepted. But what happens when parents continually fight, bicker, or even try to point score? Children come off worst Having been there myself, it’s almost too painful to watch, but what parents don’t seem…
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