2017, a New Year

Date 1 January 2017
Author Ilana Estelle
As I slowly get back to writing for a New Year, I decided my first blog of the year would be short and sweet. Welcome to 2017. Perhaps we should use 2017 to change how we see our lives, how we perceive others and how we live our lives. Although…
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People pleasing

Date 30 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
We will always open ourselves up to others taking advantage, particularly when we're asked to do something and we never say no, when we try to please people. It's a form of acceptance. Of course, when we eventually say no and we start to put ourselves first, the tone from…
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A lingering childhood

Date 28 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
There are those who go out of their way to blame their parents or siblings for how their lives turn out. Others may not intentionally set out to blame, but may still be affected by their childhood. There is little point in harbouring resentment, because we don’t get to change…
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We choose what we see

Date 27 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Perception doesn’t record reality; perception records what we want to see in the way we want to see it. Our mind constructs how we choose to see the world. Perceptions depend on our assumptions of what we think and how we see things. We all have a different take on…
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Parental & sibling alienation

Date 24 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Parental and sibling alienation are more common than we think or understand: it’s a topic that is important if we are to change how ‘the family’ works. Sadly, parental and sibling alienation is very real and has been around for years. It involves ‘the programming of a child by one…
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The best of intentions

Date 20 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
It would be lovely to think we live in a world where we all have the best of intentions. That we do things because we’re well meaning that unconditionally we want the best for each other, without a hidden agenda. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like that. Another person’s intentions are…
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Happy & healthy children

Date 16 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
We don’t go into parenting thinking about how our children will turn out when they’re adults, but perhaps it’s something we should think about. It’s important we at least try to get the parenting thing right if our children are to turn into happy and healthy adults. We also don’t…
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To understand, to forgive

Date 14 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Our ability to see beyond hurt encourages emotional growth. When we understand other people’s actions that causes us to feel and understand, it allows us to let go. We may never go on to experience life in its entirety, if we don’t let go of resentment. It’s the act of…
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Understanding your emotions

Date 11 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
Getting to know our emotions and understanding what they mean is the kindest thing we will ever do. It is the difference between us staying well and becoming unwell. Although emotions can add energy and a variety of feelings which will impact our lives, those emotions can also leave us…
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Patronising & condescending

Date 10 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
In an ideal world, all relationships would be equal. Where we work as a team, the relationship becomes equal, but where there are those who patronise, are condescending, talk down or belittle us as if what we've said is misplaced or wrong, or they think they’re a cut above the…
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Playing favourites

Date 8 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
It’s easy for anyone born with a disability to become the target of their parents’ affections through misplaced guilt. Their targeting isn’t because they favour us over our siblings, it is merely because they have more work to do with us, but unfortunately that’s not always how it will be…
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Why we avoid responsibility

Date 6 December 2016
Author Ilana Estelle
We either block issues out because the issues are too difficult, or when we look back we’re not willing to agree another person’s version of our story. Why do some of us go to great lengths to evade responsibility? We evade responsibility because it seems too difficult. We’re not always…
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