How Mental Health Became My Lifeline

Date 28 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child, I didn’t realise I was carrying the weight of trauma while trying to navigate a world unaware of the struggles I faced – struggles I would later come to understand were shaped by a disability. What I had wrong with ...
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The CP Diary: A Journey of Reflection, Growth and Clarity

Date 25 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
The CP Diary offers honest, reliable reflection. It understands life’s complexities, recognising the many factors that shape our experiences. While it doesn’t claim to have all the answers, it does help to make sense of the things ...
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Finding Acceptance in a Difficult Life

Date 21 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
As I continue to reflect on my personal journey, acceptance is about finding a deeper understanding of my experiences and how those experiences have shaped me and coming to terms with what's been done. As I ...
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Trusting the Journey

Date 18 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
My Self-affirmation Poem "I need to remind myself that things will work out okay,To understand that not every ripple I encounter means a storm is coming.To trust the universe has my back. To accept that living life in the ...
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The WEIGHT of Knowing

Date 15 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
"I sit with the weight of my life, the quiet realisation that I'm on my own, but not by my choice. There’s something about my looking back, having to trace the steps of my journey, that feels both difficult and ground. From ...
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Autism, Grief, Change and Twin Loss

Date 13 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
Life has a way of shifting beneath us when we least expect it. Losing my twin is not just about her absence; it's about losing a reflection of myself, a connection that always existed, now gone. It has altered the very foundation ...
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A Dog's Unwavering Loyalty

Date 9 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
The sculpture powerfully conveys the depth of a dog’s devotion, even in difficult circumstances. Every detail brings its story to life – the expression a haunting mix of hope and sorrow. The eyes, carved with such precision, seem ...
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A Letter to Me

Date 7 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
In 15 years of writing for The CP Diary, I think I've written to myself twice. Today, I’m doing it again, hoping it might help me process what I’m facing. Growing older with cerebral palsy isn’t easy. This Is My Letter: "You know that living ...
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Twin Loss: The Shape of Silence

Date 6 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
Absence through grief is difficult. It's a silence that doesn't announce itself, it's just there, a silence that lingers in the space once filled with sound. You wake up expecting hoping to feel better. And as you're still waiting to feel ...
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Transforming Pain into Purpose

Date 4 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
If you’ve been following my blog for a while, you’ll know that themes of neglect and abandonment often come up. These experiences have profoundly shaped my life and continue to influence my thoughts, my ...
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Trust, Honesty and Integrity: A Path to a Better World

Date 2 March 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
Each of us have individual narratives to carry, to own. Stories that belong to us and shape who we are. If the world truly embraced this idea, conflicts based on assumptions, control, and misunderstandings would lessen ...
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Journalling: Processing Trauma through Writing

Date 27 February 2025
Author Ilana Estelle
For the past 15 years, I’ve shared my thoughts through The CP Diary. Writing has become more than just expression – it’s how I’ve processed emotions, made sense of my past, and found acceptance on my trauma ...
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