The Sunday blues

Date 28 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I don’t know whether anyone else has memory of the Sunday evening blues, but it seemed very real to me, when I was little. At the time I never understood why by Sunday evening I was beginning to feel so miserable. After initial research, I found out it’s all to…
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My last thought on this

Date 27 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
The Queen’s speech on Christmas Day was about how we reflect on our lives and reflection has brought me to this place. I am where I am because of consequences of the decisions made for me, rather than by me. I’ve been swept along and was expected to conform completely.…
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My perspective on loss

Date 24 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
Never having had any concrete support, I wasn’t sure how I would feel when it came to losing both parents. As the weeks passed, I began to ask myself whether it was easier letting go of losing both parents, because there had never been any emotional support in place. I…
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Inner conflict

Date 23 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
We  may have a bad day, not because someone is irritating us, but because we may be feeling bad.  Although we’re not always aware, the feelings that we have are often tied to unconscious thoughts that can cause inner conflict. If we were to unravel what goes on behind our…
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Support has to work

Date 20 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
You learn that not all support makes good support. It’s only when you come to lose someone that you have time to reflect where you were with the support you had. It goes without saying that support needs to work and be right if we are to function comfortably in…
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Health problems cont.d

Date 19 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
There are days where I look at my life and I’m okay with it because it is what it is, then I’m ill again with digestion problems and I’m annoyed that I can’t function normally and that this is my life. Each day brings with it a different outcome on…
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Misplaced expectations

Date 17 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child we expect our parents to put us first, to make decisions for us that will be for our benefit, above what they want for themselves. It’s what a parent does, right? Hoping that will happen can be our biggest disappointment that may result in misplaced expectations if…
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Envy

Date 12 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
As a child growing up with numerous problems, I would periodically look over my shoulder at others and remember unconsciously feeling envy at their ‘normal’ life and what I was struggling with. Inwardly I was never hateful but know that my own personal circumstances had a lot to do with…
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The problem with school

Date 10 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
We’re either worldly or we’re educated, but it’s very hard to be both. It’s a conclusion I reached some years ago. Students aren’t encouraged to hone their own skills, or think for themselves. School is subjective, not objective. You’re there to learn facts, which can’t always be applied in everyday…
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Time to say goodbye

Date 9 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
It seems like it’s been the longest 9 weeks of my life trying to sell my father’s bungalow. There were times where it just didn’t seem like it was going to happen. With an exchange of contracts having taken place last Thursday, yesterday the keys were handed in to our…
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Behind the facade

Date 8 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
We hide our emotions behind a mask. We put on a facade telling the the world that all is well, when in reality our thoughts and feelings tell a different story. But putting on a facade, means we keep hidden who we really are under the ...
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Pre-conceived opinions

Date 6 December 2013
Author Ilana Estelle
I don’t normally watch it, but I had been watching a UK reality TV show called “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.” As all the celebrities were sat around the campfire discussing what they thought of each before going on the show, they had already formed opinions which…
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